Loading...
 

sulu:mèmoire

20070107
sulu:thoughts about open partnership

 
what if you and your partner have some kind of agreement that its ok to have sex with another person? just because you know there are some people out there that have this special feature making you feel to want more -making you excited and attracted in a special way. not that you get butterflies in your stomach just you can well imagine to fuck this person and therefore you want it to happen.
-> so why not?
because it is dangerous? dangerous to lose this partner due to he/she could realized that the other one suits better?

  • isn't that always possible? i would say the probability that this decision is based on or activated by the "act" is equal to the probability that you split up because of being attracted by another person and not having the possibility to "get" this person in every situation you like to - followed by the procedure that you concentrate on this feeling/wish more and more while the distance to your current partner grows. or you simply long for freedom - for any reason - who does not know this?
  • from an absolute (inhuman) unselfish point of view you wish your parnter to be as happy as possible anyway, also if this means you will lose him/her as a partner - thus you could accelerate that he/she is more happy in a shorter time ... wouldn't that be wonderful? yeah, this was unrealistic waste as well as not concerning this text in any way. so why i wrote it? donnow...its there..

because it is wrong? wrong to have sex with any person you (really)would like to have?

  • i would say it is more fair-minded than it is wrong. perhaps it is "more good" to stand any allurement, perhaps it makes you and your partnership stronger and more intensive -but i think this is religious bullshit. i would say the only things that can make your partnership more intensive is to be honest in every situation (because this is the only way to make your partner to a part of you/your life) and to live every situation as you like to live (otherwise you will get the feeling to have missed something) just to make you as satisfied and free as possible -what (as i consider) is in return essential to a prosperous partnership.

because it hurts your partner?

  • well perhaps this is a good way to find out if you still "love" your partner, or it is only habit keeping you together. of course every part of this partnership must be hurt the same way - otherwise it will fail. in addition it also hurts (i would say it hurts more) when your partner has a chat or anything similar with another person, you can see/feel that they are attracted but it is not allowed to talk about (and every part underplays the situation/feeling in an artificial way - where we are back at the last point...the intense of your partnership, and the first point..).

 
under very important conditions like

  • using a condom
  • we are talking about a one night stand - meaning not to have sex with the same person regularly
  • we are talking about a situation/person that is really special to you in some way- meaning not to fuck any living being that offers you the possibility to fuck it
  • telling your partner before you do something (that can hurt your partner) - meaning to tell him/her as soon as you know what you would like to do (without the need to tell afterwards if "it" did happen or not -> i would say this is not always necessary, you should wait for your partner explicit asking for "the story")

 
well i don't think this "agreement" is absolutely necessary, but i think it is absolutely necessary to talk about this "agreement" - what does not implicate that it is released.
perhaps this is one simple opportunity for a satisfying partnership and life.

in addition i guess being "allowed to take the chance" makes it more uninteresting, until there is this moment you just can't stand - and this is the moment you should be able to live and enjoy totally.

in sweet memory to this time and the exciting question if/when this opinion will change..

 
more than every second marriage is divorced in germany

-> comments are welcome..


Google Search